5 Steps To Build Confidence & Self Worth
Increasing Your Self-Esteem and Confidence
Improving your self-image isn't a matter of attitude, but of doing. Taking actions steps toward building your self-esteem and confidence is where growth happens. As humans, we are inclined to stay in our comfort zone — because it is safe. However, it is when we step outside the safety of our comfort zone, we discover who we truly are and learn about unimaginable things that we can overcome. A large part of the human experience is to suffer, volunteering to suffer in selective experiences will ultimately help us survive suffering in the future that we have no control over. Challenging ourselves to overcome adversity, whether it large or small, is what builds our confidence and self-esteem ‘bucket’. We have include 5 steps below to help you progress forward in increasing your own self-esteem and confidence.
Be Honest With Yourself.
Know your values and what matters to you, and live by them. Too often, we tend to obsess over what others might be doing or trying to achieve, but does that really align with what’s needed for ourselves? If we look at someone who we’d consider to be a confident person, they probably had a similar conversation with themselves, sitting down to analyze their own personal limitations while identifying what really matters to them.
Being aware of one’s limitations allows confident people to cut themselves some slack, in addition to not having any issues with asking others for help.
Empower Yourself With New Experiences.
For most people, whether we’re conscious of it or not, we tend to repeat the same tasks day in and day out. In certain circumstances constant repetition can cause boredom and reluctancy to change. That’s not to say routines don’t provide value and structure which lends to a certain level of comfort. Comfort can help getting through a day without feeling too overwhelmed by stress and uncertainty.
That being said, there is such a thing as being too comfortable. When too much comfort leads to stagnation, we lose out on opportunities for personal and professional growth. This pushes us into a rut, and can affect our happiness and quality of life.
Encouraging yourself to try something new such as taking a course, starting a hobby, or soliciting the help of a mentor or coach, are all ways for us to step outside our comfort zone and fill part of our day with new experiences. Not only can trying something new be fun and enjoyable, it also allows us to engage socially with other likeminded people, contributing to the need for social interaction.
Don’t Worry About What Others Think.
Easier said than done, yes. This is a constant work in progress — we are all susceptible to the fear of judgement from others. However, a major component to being confident is being comfortable with who we are. This means being your biggest advocate, allowing your internal voice to be louder than the critics, be your biggest champion. It’s easy to listen to other people and get caught up in their negative beliefs. Just keep going.
Set Small, Attainable Goals.
This is the key. You may be ready to go big, but the danger is that you try and do too much at once. If you take the approach of doing all-or-nothing; you’ll burn out, get frustrated, or it will blow up, only adding more fuel to your story of incompetence. Structured, attainable goals will ultimately add up to big picture stuff, but that doesn’t happen over night. This happens with consistently hitting your smaller goals. A great way to help achieve your goals is to hire a coach, someone who is an expert in the subject matter. They have the necessary tools to help put a road map together that ultimately leads you to bigger goals, perhaps goals you never thought possible. Remember, slow and steady wins the race.
Focus On Effort, Not Outcome.
Sometimes your efforts won’t get you the results you want. You get the courage to speak up to your boss about your workload, and they don’t change it. You work out for two weeks, but nothing seems to have changed. This is ok. Whether you’re aware of it or not, the work you’re putting in each day is building to something that isn’t quite clear yet.
Ultimately, the goal is not the outcome—whether you achieve what you’re striving for—but the process—taking the risk, stepping outside your comfort zone, doing rather than believing, or despite believing that you can’t. And sometimes, you will achieve what you want. As you accumulate these experiences and become more comfortable with risk-taking, you’ll change the story. You’re no longer the person you once were; you’re courageous, confident, and competent.
